How I lost 11 lbs and 2.4% body fat in 15 days for a Tropical Pool Party (and my vanity)

Tulum, Mexico

Back in early November, I announced I was beginning my crash diet in hopes of leaning out for my good friend Mike Cernovich’s beachside wedding in Tulum, Mexico.  At the time I was feeling too fat to have a good time half-naked all day. 

The best way for me to have fun at a beach party is to make sure I feel good.  Being (as free) from insecurities about my body as I can liberates me to enjoy the warm ocean breezes and sunshine – and the ‘scenery.’

Worrying about how fat I look is not only lame but stifling.

Could my mindset around my body image be improved?  Sure.  But, being fit and lean is an essential component to being a successful male today.  My constant self-analysis and critique is what keeps me honest and moving forward.  Or at least, it keeps me from sliding too far back into fat-ville.

I’m a former fat boy.  My genetics are shit.  If I just ate when I was hungry without any plan or regulation I’d be 50 lbs heavier in a year.  I’ve seen it happen.  It’s gross.  Constant vigilance is required.  It’s a grind, yes, but being fit and lean brings a surplus of advantages as we know.

I’ve been 275 lbs and 35% body fat. 

It’s disgusting.

Shame me.

I rode that shame all the way down to sub 10% body fat.

The diet and exercise plan that got me there was my Green Juice, Sushi, and Yoga diet.  An excellent choice for summer. 

Any diet plan that gets you healthy as fuck and surrounded by hot chicks in yoga pants is a good one.

Current Realistic Plan

Since the glory days of sushi and green juice only,  I’ve decided to eat like a normal person which means crushing Popeyes every once in a while or destroying a plate or two of tacos along with chips and guac.  Cheeseburgers, popcorn at the baseball game, cake.

You’ve seen how much @the_red_hen bakes for us, right?

Yes, I eat some shit sometimes. 

There are three keys to keeping things tight even when eating like a normal person:

1) Intermittent Fasting

2) Eat clean when alone/at home

3) Eat shit/normal with friends

 

It all starts with starving yourself half the time.

Hold off on eating each day until as late as possible. Usually, for me that’s around 12-1 pm, but sometimes as late as 5 pm.  And when you do eat, don’t eat shit.  Save eating that for when you’re around other people. 

In the privacy of your own home eat your chicken breasts with broccoli, salmon and asparagus, or eggs and oatmeal.  With dinner always have a sweet potato, or as I like to call them, Magic Yams.  One day I’ll do an entire post dedicated to Magic Yams.

Then when you’re in public, you can eat whatever you want. 

Being on point for 85% of your time is more than enough for most people.  Add in regular exercise based on weight training and life is good.  Plenty of people have written about what to lift and how much, so I’ll leave that to them.  However, this is all you’ll ever really need to know right here: Starting Strength.

But this article isn’t about my day-to-day diet, it’s about:

HOW I MIRACULOUSLY LOST 11 LBS AND 2.4% BODY FAT IN JUST 15 DAYS

In my first post (I’m getting good at these two parter’s lately) I outlined the plan of attack, using a modified version of Lyle McDonald’s Protein Sparing Modified Fast.

Basically, this meant starve half the day then eat a chicken breast and some salad. 

Drink mad water.

Repeat. 

No carbs.  None.  Low-ish fat.  Almost only protein.

Whitefish and broc.

Chicken breast and greens for dinner.  Chicken breasts for snacks. 

Did I mention chicken breast?

Yes, @the_red_hen cleared the house of what minimal junk we had around and left the cupboards bare for the 15 days. 

It was grueling.  It was horrible.  We complained the entire time. 

In the middle of it was my son’s birthday party – so the diet got suspended for one night – chocolate chip cookie brownies got ate up, pizza wolfed, tears of shame shed. 

Back on the horse the next day.

We ground it out for the 15 days we had leading up to departure.  Gorgeous beaches, topless women, and sexiness were imminent – crash diet required to keep the vacation itself from crashing into a sea of fat-induced shame.

Did we make it?

Of course, we did. 

The Stats:

November 2nd, 2015:

Weight: 245 lbs

Body Fat %: 14.1%

Waist: 12.3mm

Chest: 5.1mm

Thigh: 4.3mm

The measurements were taken from my handheld BodyMetrix scanner which measures actual fat depths using sonar.  It is not impacted by hydration and its the most accurate measurement tool I’ve found outside of a DEXA scan.

15 days of Beach Party Diet later:

November 17th, 2015

Weight: 234 lbs (-11 lbs)

Body Fat %: 11.7% (-2.4%)

Waist: 10.2mm (-2.1mm)

Chest: 4mm (-1.1mm)

Thigh: 3.5mm (-.08mm)

As you can see, the diet was a huge success.  The difference between 14.1% and 11.7% body fat was the re-emergence of an outline of abs, especially in the right light.  My V cuts deepened, and the bloat from my belly was gone.

I felt lighter, slimmer, more svelte, and I almost fit into my suit. 

I not only felt free to be pretty much half-naked the entire time, but I also looked good doing it.

I saw the (few) chubby and fat guys hanging around the beach with their shirts on, feeling insecure and out of place.  Some even kept their pants on.  At the beach??  This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. 

I remember what it was like to be nervous to go to the pool because I didn’t want to take my shirt off.  It sucks so bad. 

Being around young, hot, topless chicks while fat, gross and fully clothed is no way to go through life, son.

My GF certainly appreciated it. And the little boost in confidence I got from feeling lean really did help facilitate an amazing time.  Nagging thoughts of being chubby or bloated, especially when winter white and pale, would have tried to bring me down.  Instead, I was uplifted, feeling good, looking good and proud of being able to get my shit together for a quick diet.

Wrap Up

This is not a sustainable diet.  It is not a lifestyle.  It is a crash diet.  I can’t stress this enough. 

Its purpose is to shed as much fat as you can in the shortest time possible while hopefully retaining your hard-won muscles.

My current strategy of orbiting at around 13-14% body fat in the fall and winter and being able to dip down to summer/beach levels of 10 or 11% seems to offer the best balance of effectiveness with sanity and practicality.

At my leanest, 8%, it was a constant struggle to manage food intake, sodium consumption, water, exercise – all of it.  It was another full-time job.  At the end of the day, the difference between 12% and 8% is only going to be appreciated by precious few – mostly other dudes.

Eating what I want when in public, IF’ing every day, and eating clean at home is what I’ll ride from now into spring when beach body diet 2016 goes into effect.

The results don’t lie.  Losing 11 lbs of fat and bloat with minimal muscle loss in 15 days is no joke.  Losing 2.4% off your body fat total isn’t either.  The diet works.  It’ll make you crazy, but it works.

So the next time you’ve got a wedding, pool party, photo shoot or other special event requiring your best beach body – you’ve now got the tools you need to come in lean and feeling your best. Just don’t complain to me about how much it sucks – I warned you.

PS: You can buy Starting Strength here, and Lyle McDonald’s Rapid Weight Loss Program here.

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