How to Take a Girl Home
At Jack Murphy Live I’ve shown you all the basics.
I taught you the three fundamentals to a successful life.
I gave you the moral framework and tools to be a player without being an asshole.
I’ve shown you effective online dating strategies.
I outlined the basic characteristics of a “Keeper” today.
And I’ve taught you what do in bed with your girl once you get her.
But I haven’t always written about the mechanics of picking a girl up in a random situation. My girlfriend, The Red Hen, and I are usually out together. So when we hit on women, it’s as a pair – which is a totally different dynamic than when you’re out with your boys.
One day, I’ll write a post on just that: how to pick up chicks with your girlfriend.
However, today’s post is simply: how to take a girl home from the bar.
How to take a girl home
Some of you old timers may find these ideas to be standard fare, and they are, but there are always new guys coming up who still have to learn the basics. Plus, I am trying to help men holistically. We can talk about fitness, work, marriage, kids, divorce, politics, and culture – but we all want to get laid too.
Now that $million dollar series is underway, what’s next for me guys, you decide:
— Jack Murphy (@jackmurphylive) February 14, 2017
Plus, you guys asked for it….so here we go:
Last week I was out with Michael Medici of twitter, connecting in real life after interacting on twitter for several months. Great guy. You should follow him.
We were hanging out at my favorite local bar, the one you’ve seen so often in my #AreTheyFucking series on Twitter.
A couple walks in. There is something off about them and their body language was unclear. I say to my friend, “Hey Mike, they’d be great for #aretheyfucking.” So I take a few pictures and we watch them for a bit. The woman is late 20’s, blond, and well endowed – while the man was wearing a pink polo with a sweater. He was kind of chubby and quite soft. Together they looked odd and something didn’t seem right, which was what made them great candidates for #aretheyfucking. I’d find out later the answer to that question was a resounding “no.”
Always make eye contact
Later on in the evening, I made my way to the bathroom. As I walked past this couple I gave the blond an intentional direct look in her eyes. You can convey a lot of information with a look. Simply staring a woman in the eyes for a second or two can send the message she wants to hear. You show her you are unafraid, confident, and direct. You can even send sexual energy to her that way, which is great, as long as it doesn’t cross over into being a pervy leer. But even that has applications sometimes.
I once met a 6 foot blond on the street in the middle of the day. She walked past me one time and I gave her the quick look in the eyes. It was just one of those fleeting moments between two people passing on the street. I always take advantage of those, you never know what is going to happen. Later in the day, we cross paths again as I unknowingly walked past the restaurant she was eating in. She actually ran outside, chased me down, and gave me her business card. On our date later she told me, “You basically raped me with your eyes” the first time I saw her…so, of course, she raced to give me her number.
Whether on the street, in the bar, at the coffee shop or even the library – if you see an attractive woman make eye contact. Hell, even if she isn’t attractive or “just your type” do it anyway as good practice. Make looking people in the eye your standard approach, so when you find a hot girl, you’ll just do it out of habit.
Ask “how do you guys know each other?”
In nightlife situations, there are usually groups of people out together. Sometimes groups are mixed with men and women, and it would be easy to assume that the women are there with the boyfriends. But in my experience, that is usually not the case. Men and women in a couple tend to go out just the two of them, or with another couple. Medium sized groups of mixed genders are a great opportunity to meet single women. The key to opening up the group and learning the key details right away is to ask, “How do you guys know each other?” From there the conversation should flow and you’ll learn right away who is available and who isn’t. Plus, you’ve engaged the entire group rather than weirdly just barged in to talk to one person of a group. Try this, it works.
As I returned from the bathroom the couple asked me if I wanted to join them for a drink. I honestly wasn’t sure exactly what was about to go down. It’s not too crazy to think a couple would ask me to join them, I am a big ass dude with a beard. I’m sure I could fulfill someone’s fantasy. My friend Mike had just left, so I decided what the hell and I pulled up a chair.
My first question? “How do you guys know each other?” I cut right to the chase. There is no use wasting any time. It turned out they are work colleagues (explains the awkward body language) in town for a conference.
Pretty ideal circumstances for a guy like me. Red Hen and I have an open relationship, but logistics are usually the deciding factor in whether or not to proceed with a girl on the side. I enjoy other women, often with Red Hen at the same time, but I also have my life the way it is and I like it. If the woman can fit into my schedule, my timing, and my preferences – then I’m all ears. When you add this blond’s ‘assets’ to the situation, my interest was definitely piqued. The double bonus of her being from out of town, with a hotel room, and departing in a day or two made this the perfect side piece opportunity.
I went into old school Game mode, talking shit, poking fun, and having a good time. After a few minutes, I touched her on the arm and said, “follow me.” Simple, direct, and a command not a question. I walked her back to the rear of the bar where I could talk to her in private.
Isolating your possible date from the group she came with is basic game technique. It’s not to do anything nefarious or to get all weird – but privacy allows her to be more honest and open with you all well and it gives you a chance to escalate physical contact. Ordering her (gently) to follow me to the back of the bar was also a simple dominance play, to which she submitted easily. Sometimes you can grab a girl’s hand and ask her friends, “mind if I borrow her for a minute?” They’ll usually exchanges glances and the girl will say its ok…and off you go.
All signs were green. She was ready to get serious.
She looked me in the eyes, she invited me to join her group, and she followed my command to join me in the back of the bar. These are all positive signs which must be capitalized upon. So as we were talking in private I escalated physical contact. First, a touch of the shoulder, then the forearm, then the hand. This shows you are confident, unafraid, and willing to take charge of the encounter – which is what every woman wants – even feminists. Always escalate.
Next, I grabbed her back the back of her head, lightly pulled her hair and kissed her. I allowed my thumb to rest on the side of her throat – foreshadowing rough sex and choking without being overt about it. Every woman loves a man who will take charge and be rough. She definitely got the point. As we finished, I looked her in the eye and said, “Catch my drift?”
Escalating serves multiple purposes. One, it will tell you right away if she is interested. A girl that is hot for you will make out with you within minutes of meeting you – if you do it the right way. It will also reveal any possible chemistry between the two of you. And since you’re a man of options, you don’t want to waste your time going down dead ends. If she’s not interested or if there is no chemistry – just wrap it up and move on. There are other options. But if the answer to both questions is yes, you’ve just found yourself a very good time.
She definitely caught my drift. Breathing deeply, she said, “wow, your game is strong.” I walked away, returned to the bar, and sat down.
Close the deal
We got settled again and I just opened my phone and handed it to her. “Enter your number.” No questions, no maybes, no do you want to – just “enter your number.” She complied, naturally, and called herself – proving to me that it was actually her number.
Earlier, while we were making out, I suggested we leave right then to go to her hotel. Sure, I had only known her for about 15 minutes, but when it’s on – it’s on. I kept escalating right to the top. She said she had to meet someone, but would be available in 90 minutes. I said, “Cancel.” She resisted because she had made these plans a while back and it was an old friend. I told her ok, but I’m not waiting around for 90 minutes babe, I’m headed home. I don’t know if she believed me because she texted me 60 minutes later:
I went to bed and that was that. In the morning I saw she had replied right away. I waited a little while and then set a few more texts to set things up:
Note how she tries to get me to come to a party with her (to show me off) and I decline.
No thank you. Let’s just get right to it.
Perfect. 3 pm at her hotel. I can run my errands and just pop in to see her.
These texts took place over the course of hours, and in fact, my response to the invite came the next day.
Never reply right away, always be busy with something else, and never be too eager.
I remind her of the sexual energy and nail things down. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Yes, I used basic game techniques to close the deal with an attractive late 20’s blond and used it to show you “how to take a girl home”: always make eye contact, always isolate, always escalate.
But, the real story here is the fundamental work I’ve put in over the years. Game techniques and mechanics will only get you so far. You have to put in the personal work to get to a point where women can just sense you’re the man they want.
Fitness, lifestyle, mindset. All these things must be mastered. Once you do that, the opportunities will present themselves to you without much effort. Become “the man” and the women simply follow.
All of you can do this. It is a simple process that just takes hard work, time, and dedication. No one said it was going to be easy. But you can do it.
You’re not just any guy. You’re a man who wants the most out of life. You want to explore and grow and evolve. You won’t settle for mediocre, scraps do not appeal to you, and becoming your best self is the only option.
Which, of course, is why you’re here at Jack Murphy Live.
Read my Jack Murphy Syllabus. Learn what I have to offer.
I’m the old veteran on the championship team. I’m the guy they hired to provide leadership, wisdom and a steady hand for the young bucks. You guys are the up and comers.
I’m the guy with the rings.
I want us to grow together and become the tightest, best crew around.
I’m all about building community and this is part of it.
I hope you enjoyed this nostalgic walk back into Game mechanics. Once you internalize all these ideas, you will act without thinking. Life becomes easy. So read up, go through my archives, and I’ll catch you on the next one.